Last night, I got the opportunity to see the new comedy “Bad Moms” with my daughter. The laughter was so welcome after a busy week of work, back-to-school stress, and new business projects. As a working/entrepreneurial mom of three kids (now teenagers), there have been many moments of trial and error over the years. I have asked myself many times, “am I a good mom?”
Watching the movie last night reminded me of the early days when I was rushing the mini-van from activity to activity. I felt like I lived more in my van than I did in my house! I would dash home from work and (sometimes literally) throw food at my kids, and then out the door we went! Back then, I thought “there has to be more to life than this!” Other working parents managed to handle this kind of craziness, so why couldn’t I? This played on my mind for years! YEARS! And that was even before social media. My life was chaos! I tried to look like I had it all together, but in reality, I was MAXXED OUT!
I love the quote “in today’s world, it is impossible to be a good mom,” because being “a good mom” is a relative term. As moms, we all want to love our kids and do the best we can for them and teach the values of humanity and success. The trouble with social media is that we all pretend that we live the perfect life, only ever posting (and seeing) the good stuff about being a mom. It sets up what I call “high expectation and comparison theory.” It makes us all feel like we can’t be anything less than perfect. So, where does perfection and expectation meet reality? Probably in a white room with a straight jacket! And how much stress can we endure before we actually do reach a breaking point like the characters in “Bad Moms?” The world is full of judgment and perfectionism! I bet that if you were to ask any mom out there, she’d tell you that there’s no such thing as perfection when it comes to parenting, and yet we still strive for it and put ourselves under a ton of stress to achieve it.
If we set ourselves up to live this way, what kind of example we are modelling for our children? Life is going to happen whether we want it to or not, but our reaction to it is half the battle.
Resilience is an important skill here, but so are harmony and balance. Surround yourself with REAL relatable people. Making sure you have a support system is key.
Fast forward to the present day, and my kids have survived the chaos I created for myself back when I thought I had to do it all! One day, I’d had enough and said I am DONE! I took back control of my life, and today I’ve learned when to say NO, and my kids have a much more balanced life than before. The message is: you can have it all! Be a good mom, AND a “bad mom!” HOW, you ask? Well, if you’d like to learn my secrets – and figure out how to adapt them for your particular situation – let me invite you to take a look at my “Moms on the Go” program here.
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